When is the last time when you wish to see your boyfriend and it can happens immediately?
It is not even immediately technically,for my case. It is like the day after or so.
Though I know my chances are slim, I still wanna bet against the odds.

It's not even the case that I do not understand the situation here.I fuckingly do.

But putting all rights and wrongs aside, it is so fucking upsetting and disturbing that the so called compromising is still me flowing the schedule.
While I do not often judge whose the more deserving one in my relationship, you have to understand it is NOT easy to be Jason's girlfriend anyway.

It makes me so fucking depressed sometimes that I cried to sleep and upon typing this, I almost wanna bawl in the office!

And to make things so bloody worse, my pc died on me last night for NO GOOD REASON!

To end off, I wondered why do I NOT deserved something nice for a moment!

Fucking off,
Ling

Love will keep us alive

Honestly having a good heart to heart talk with your partner helps alot.
I am swearing this seemly difficult and yet ain't half as tough as you really think method to all couples out there. Unless the time is over for you guys, communication can be fruitile.

Talking to Jason tonight is just so much lighter and comfortable as compared to the nights I was quietly brood up and couldn't figure what's wrong.

Anyway I am MOST HAPPY for my dear Fyn now.
Hehehe..I just sent a "threaten" msg to her Silly Goose via Friendster now.Haha. I can't stand and will NOT stand anyone not doing her right. She just deserves someone who is so good and I pray that this guy is right. =)

Relationships of my friends always make me excited. At least those who I'm more concern of are with a decent guy now. Hehe.

Ok,enough of shopping around.It is time to do some crafts before time runs out.

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide

Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

Don’t you worry
Sometimes you’ve just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now I’ve found you
There’s no more emptiness inside
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

I was standing
All alone against the worlk outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

-Eagles

If you are a sucker for romance, you gotta listen to Class 95FM every weekday nights from 9pm.
Sigh~Lovely!

Ask the men. Tell the ladies.

Dear gals,

Stop feeling envious of me & Jason. Being together for almost 3.5 years doesn't necessarily means our relationship is perfect all time. There's many give & take and we haven't been perfect nor the match in heaven.

Sometimes I know I've been a lil' over demanding and difficult to please. I know Jason has been wayyy too patient with me and resulting a spoil brat which you people don't see.
Yet there are still somethings that I'm not totally happy with.

I asked him recently,"Who is the less thoughtful of us?"
And he said he is cos' there are times that I wasn't very happy and it must be something he did or didn't do. Understandably from that answer, he still don't really know what he did or didn't do but was in a way over doting me. And then you see that there's no improvement anyhow.
Technically there's just a question & answer.

I had wanted to agree that he is the less thoughtful one between us but I think that the very definition of 'thoughtful' is subjective.
Thoughtful to me means that the person cares to do lil' things in life that makes you happy,despite the value of those things. Even if it's like telling me in advance that he has got a match tonight and will call me later, IS thoughtful.
Thoughtful to him could have mean another thing altogether.

Ask the men, tell the ladies.

I don't ask for gifts every other day. I don't ask for flowers every other day.I don't need to be lavish with things all the time.
YET sometimes I felt silly that I ask if he could buy me something like a plushie,some (cheap)flowers or a keychain and he would smilingly agree. I know this may sounds cute to some but when I ask for it, sometimes the momentum is lost.

I know he did tried.Like sometimes he would give me some small toys from those 1 dollar capsule machines. BUT, but I just feel that you can't be doing this forever?I am honestly running outta space trying to keep them all and is starting to lose interest in Sitch and Pooh.
I appreciate that,all that.Really, I do.

How do I explain things to make things sound right?

I like impromptu.I like spontaneous.I like something outta nowhere and it's good.
I like small surprises. And I don't have to be asked all the time.

When I see how he always wanna buy things for his adorable cousins and want to spend time , I dunno what to say. It's not even the case that I do not adore them.I like them all but sometimes I really wanna tell him this, "They aren't your children, dear.Leave them to their parents.Can't you spend more attention on me instead?"

I know he wanted to treasure the moments while they are small and cute.Kids grow without your acknowledgement,like all of us.I totally agree with that but you don't have to go out and spend time thinking what to get for them,what they would like to have, what shows to bring them to watch and recounting the silly stuffs they did.

Maybe I sent the wrong signals sometimes.Some days I told him that it would be fine if we go out with his aunties and so, totally outta boredom and we have nothing much to do in excitement anymore.
I thought our 3.5 years is finally taking it's toll and it could be the end very soon.

It could be the girls want guys to want doing somethings and why would the gus want to want doing somethings?

He ain't much a romantic person and sometimes not even trying to be one.Either that or I outsmart him in that area.I know I am that hard to please and it is common to get tired.
Not to mention with the restricted $ we have,it's hard to do something new.

At the end of the day, it is infuriating. All I want is you to be as sweet and thoughtful as you are to the kids.Must I always act like a 5 year old to get that attention and reduced you to zero when I am not?

It could be at your usual weekend date, your beau brisk outta his bag and said,"Hey,I thought you might like this."That could be a book, a CD,a few colour pens etc.

It could be when he is shopping without you and MMS you a picture of some small stuff he bought together just for you.

It could be bringing you to some kopitiam or small cafes occasionally becos' he heard the food there is gr8 and want both of you to try it together. (Like I brought him to Icekimo,isn't that an example?)

And you don't have to keep trying the same old things cos' usually after the first time, the novelty wears off. At least that is for me.

It's about the efforts that both put in to keep generating passion and romance to keep a fish alive.

I can tell that we are rotting!

It's no wonder why girls eventually slip off to seek a new joy,a new fire,someone who can provide and someone who can understand, and guys slip in to the comfort of everything and blame the heart breaker.

Just what the hell is that all about?

Who cares about who more?I can hardly differeniate anymore.

Is it about ME or us?

Miscellaneous November

Dear friends,

It's finally Friday again. TGIF! November sure whiz by faster than
expected,isnt it? Just one more week, we would be crossing over to one month more
before a new year.

November hasn't prove all bright and sunny for me at least. The low
pay and the unjustifiable scheme makes my blood boil and I haven't been able to do my
best at work. Infact I was presenting a souless body @ work for at around 2 weeks or so.


The very sight of B.o.s.s.e.s makes me nauseated and feel even less
motivated. However lately due to some consideration, I decided to stay put till mid next
year for a few reasons. Putting all that aside, let's just look forward to a new year and
enjoy getting older.(Ha...)


I foresee that for the 3 months at least, my expenses are going on a hike!
Weddings,Christmas gifts,Birthday gifts and then Valentine. Being someone who values
the definition of presents,not gifts, I like to put in as much efforts I can for a present. I
believe if you wanna give someone (you like) something, it should be something from the
heart regardless of the price.

However that's often easier said than done. Being someone with close to
zero artistic/creative cells, my craftmanship makes someone barf. So much as I wanna
make things perfect, I guess you would appreciate store bought better.
Just look at what I've done? Smudge somemore.={


Christmas coming and have you been a good boy/girl? I dunno if it's
age,me or simply just the country?
Christmas seems to fail it's magic on me as I grow older. It's a season
getting so commercialise and seemly a good excuse for people to buy materials to make
them happy.



This season's colour is gold and the town is painted with the glitter.

This is the Xmas tree outside Paragon,so far the nicest I've seen.
Taka's Xmas treeA dreaming Jason

By the way, The Cathay's pink xmas tree caught alot of attention. For
pink lovers, take some photos with it.

On the 23rd Nov, Jason & I spent our 40th month together at
Sakae. (We saw the what school superstars).

Sushi ain't exactly what I crave lately,not since the last time at Suki
Sushi with my colleages.But it's our first time dining together @ Sakae. Yes, at 40th
month there are still some things that are our first time.=)


A shotscreen



The cold dishes @ the belt.
They have been there for a long time and noone's eating 'em.

I was at Watsons that very day and spotted this.

It read something like this:
You have: Pale lips
You want:Full, pouty blah blah lips. (In short, I think they meant Angelina Jolie's lips)
With it's Peppermint and blah blah, you lips flushed immediately and nourishes blah blah.


I tried it and no kidding. First it's cooling then your lips turned numb!
Does it makes your original pale looking lips look fuller.I think it does, a lil.
But warning, your lips will turn numb.


Before After


I guess that's all for tonight. Spent quite sometime doing all these,
something's for a change.

Hope tomorrow will be a good day.
Enjoy,people. I miss ya all!



Love,
Ling

Hormones affect your emotions great deal and I'm afraid it's a life long cycle till you come to terms with it.

=/

I realised...

Bad hair is one of the major factor that could destruct your mood, along with some other bad factors of life.

Ever since the bad fringe cut, my bob crop style is getting stale as well.
I'm brave enough to withstand the bad hair for a few days before I crop the tails(of both side) away and ask the stylist to try to salvage the fringe a lil.

Sad enough,she said that I would need to visit her say about 2-3 weeks time again cos' it's either I layered it to change a style(But ain't that exactly back to my previous super multi layered style) or I come back often to trim it till every part balance again.

=(

Sigh...Why can't I have nice hair?

I wish Sunday's morning never come to an end.Why must Monday comes right after Sunday?Even the word Monday denotes a depressing note.Just try pronouncing Monday and it sounds sad.

Could have slept till late morning or afternoon but uncle is bringing Chuan En to pray to the ancestors.
So woke up like 10am and start clearing my room right after downing a (weak) chocolate drink,some bread and some silly kids' programmes.(that's replaying forever.I swore I watched those before sometime back)

Chuan En was still that shy and introvert gal.Now a year old and is about to walk on her own. While she took after most of our family traits, she's lucky to have two very nice dimples whenever she smile.
I wish I have dimples.I think dimples are cute holes that blessed on your face.
I think dimples make people smile too.
Laugh lines however are just wrinkles. (Better than nothing.)

The bulk of the day was spent clearing my room. It's exhuasting!
Till another month or so, the cycle is gonna repeat. Housework's never ending,like my dad always said.

I must be possessed when I decided to DIY my fringe.It makes me look so dum-dum and I still cut it a lil more last night cos' it's so badly done! While it's a lil' salvage now but I think I look like a loaf of bread on top. I can clip my ugly fringe at home but I can't do that outside.

Stop complaining,old' Mich!
I can tell why Jason is more interested in soccer than you now!

Sigh.

I guess Sunday is best spent doodling here and there.
Carpe Diem or whatever.

Do something before the sun sets.

It's official!
The Boredom in Singapore kills Romance.
Watched Hossan Leong's "Talk Cock in Parliament" video @ YouTube but couldn't agree that living in Singapura could be any interesting.
To aggravate the almost unbearable boring island, it is too getting expensive.
Like the increment of GST? I'd say,"What the Fuck?"

We are having so few places for entertainment that even the places for wedding photoshoots are looking all the same.
I was looking at my colleague's wedding photos and dare I say,it's actually quite boring.
(But that going naked part was absolutely a turn off than something that's meant to be abstract and/or intriguing.)

Jason and I have not been saying but we both know that we are running outta places to go as we go on.
Aftermath of this would be either we keep hiking on the same old places and feel bored or we stay home and feel bored of each other.
No,travelling is clearly not a solution. We don't live in Sixth Avenue or any districts where properties are close to its' pricing,people.

Singapura,not makes things brighter,are adding more and more Chi-nas to our over populated dot.
No discriminating notes(but I know it's tough)but are those people getting rich or what?
I've noticed that alot of our fashion merchandises(Alot in FarEast) are getting imported from that big Dragon land but at Singapura's prices. I am getting appalled by the rip off but what the heck, the world's a rip off anyway. The superficiality of the society it is.

Everyone care about how the surface looks. Guys look at cars and girls look at bags.
I'm getting tired but I'm swiped along with it.

Ok,digressing. I was complaining how boring this place is and it's killing everyone softly yet I move on to life's blah again. -_-

I oughtta sing the lighter note of life.

LALALALALA!!!

Food poisoned

One thing I hate about being sick,despite how I often wish I'm sick to stay outta work, is the weakness that's retained in your body for a long time.
To make things more unjustifiable,my MCs are not gonna be considered but as AL instead.
What the fuck?!

Was supposed to meet Jason for dinner but ended up he came over and bring me to the doc.(And witnessed the ugly side of me..haha)

Gee..I still feel sick.
CanI declared off forever?

Blahing thoughts off

I so f'king regret for the impulse of cutting my fringe!
I thought it's getting too long (again) and it's making my whole face looks tired (the truth!), so I decided to Do It Myself.
Who knows I look like Ah Gon now?!

Although short fringe with bod cut is an absolute classic and I'm pretty sure that when I complain about it,people would just tell me it looks fine,just I'm not used to it...(not sure it's outta politeness,kindness or true) But I just feel stupid now.

Think I gotta emphasize on the eyes(to make it bigger and blacker, excluding the forever dark circles) to bring out the short fringe effect.
FYI, it is just slightly above the brows.

That being said,I still can't help to look at the mirror every 1 minute or so.

Going to meet Jason for dinner tomorrow.^^
I'm fine with just meeting once a week cos' he is commited to football and I could just go home for dinner and dramas.(such a no life creep,I am) But sometimes meeting for dinner is just nice. It is often the idea that the next day we still gotta work that turns it off.

I was watching the new Cha U variety show hosted by Michelle Chia & one of the contestants from The Super Host - Ai Yao Zhe Me Shuo.

1st episode featured this erm..really plain jane whose kinda big size(no offence with looks, just objective comments) looking kinda older than her actual age, wanting to express her love for her friend of 10 years and carrying torch for 5 years.

So over with the story and make over typical steps, there I saw the guy (that male character of the show)whose so cute,looking a lil' like Chow Yun Fatt. Even my mum can't help to agree that he is really good looking.

Not those kinda Utt kinda good looking but more cute and overall kinda pretty and charming.
A lil' big size and obviously just went through/still going through army training -thus the buffed up built.
What a pair of charming eyes and cute smile!

So the whole story ended with the guy rejected her love and want to remain as status quo.

Aww~~

Putting every suggested thoughts aside, I can't help to admire the girl's courage.

It is never easy to confess own feelings,especially for someone like me.

=/

I think I am gonna watch show.

As usual I am owing photos but give my poor 56k sometime,yea?
I love taking photos,especially with a group of narcissists.Lol.
When we look back, we would be reminded how young we were.(Even though we can feel so old now but there comes a time when we will be older.)

Photos soon,I promise. You would be overwhelmed how cute & tired I look. Lol.
And of cos' how babelicious my friends were! I've got a BarneyAdam Chen with us!The resemblance grows as time passes.

BUT to Jason,I am always the prettiest, cutest and loveliest.(Is that such word?)

Ok,I am talking craps. Think the photos would not be out till Wednesday.

Bear with it. Vitagen & Chinese tea that turned cold, bed I go.

Solitaire

The mixed chemistry- Anticipation & Un-bearness(aka - can't bear to. Can't think of a better word or just another term.)Life's always about the Tension of Opposites(read:Tuesday with Morrie), isn't it?

It was well learned that human has the ability to live in solitude.
When we lost something/someone that has been part of our lives, we actually still can go on.

Perhaps you realised that moving on from a place to another is not that hard after all.
You may have good memories there, good friends there even. But moving on is not that hard.

Today is my company's attachment girls' last day. Honestly I haven't felt more happier for them (to leave this place). I like them and had been playing the "guardian angel" role for them. I told them that people here and out there are treacherous mostly.
They had experienced themselves that some here are aint as nice as they seem to be.
I told them not with the fear that they may be wary of me as well. I let them judge.
Honestly I had enough of smiling to the people I don't like but this is the society. Those people have not stepped on my tail and we are getting along superficially. Let's just leave it at that.

Though they(the attachment girls) had their taste of horrid treatment from a selected individuals but still they have the mixed feeling when it's time to leave.
I like them too much to let them know. I choose to draw a line between them and my whole feeling cos' to remember loving too many people you know very well will only exist in your life during that period of them hurts.

Honestly having coming and leaving several places, I have come to terms with that mixed feelings. It is always somewhat upsetting to realise that some people, no matter how close you were with during that period, stayed only close that period.

I am glad that I still have a few that is staying close to my present. I treasure each and every relationship but I gotta learn too that not every's to stay.

Memories are all that's left and whether to reminisce or not is up to individual.

Still I wish them luck. It is a pleasure to know and befriend people all around.
You can have a troop or the whole empire.But it's only when night falls, you realised your shadow is the only one staying close to you.

This is not some forlornness. Just part of the deal, if you realised.

Evaporating

Seeking for more inspiration!!

I am drying up,withering.

I have reached a point whereby I have nothing,NOTHING to blog.
What happened to the days when I just thought of something and the words will flow like running water?

I am becoming so boring.
Duller than ever.

I need a slap.
Not on the face but on the back.

Do try to massage on the shoulders while you are at it.

I wish

Bad Hair Days would leave me alone for good!
Dunno what's wrong but my hair looks like a nest on my head these days.
Am I doomed to have short hair forever?It's not even a month since I last trimmed it and now it feels horrible!

Once my hair looks like shite,my day is half gone!

Damnit!

Have not been updating cos' there's nothing much to update.
Lately my days revolve with the thoughts and plans of leaving here plagued my mind. It hasn't gone easy on me especially when I am aware of what kinda responsibility I am holding.
Sigh.

Haven't you realised that most of our lives are just full of "I wish"?
Must we only learn content through leading a life that is much worse off than existing?
Why can't we meet a teacher like Morrie in our lives?

It is so easy to slip into what this man-made culture has forged the society to be and it is difficult to resist from being one of its' "resident" in time to come.

Honestly I had lost all motivation to work. I feel just digustingly tired(maybe it's disgust and tired.) for all these creatures I speak to all day long. (and some of them are even those I am working with.)

Whenever I felt that I am doing nothing with my life, I yearn to be doing something more and better.

I haven't thought I am doing something useless all along.Numerous people got a good job and money at least through my hand and I am proud of that.
But I am just getting something that doesnt pay my worth.That's all.

Weekends come and go in a whoosh and it's Saturday(finally) again.
We have just so many things to think,do,worry,brood about during the weekdays!
Really ought to use ONE day of the weekend to wind down and relax.
Just like scrubbing yourself,falling asleep with the mask on the face. When you wake up, the mask is nothing but a dry sheet of white cloth, that you know all the goodness of the mask had sipped in your beautiful face.

Haven't been blogging anything useful lately.

I used to have at least 1 more hidden blog before this one.

Was reading back on that particular hidden one which I ended it as a closing of my fond yet painful memories.

Memories...
Something that is just so vague yet surprisingly emotionally powerful.

Maybe inside I am the emotional type.
What you can't see doesn't mean what isn't me.
Sometimes a sad melody will fully evoke my rich emotions and imagination.

Love is beautiful but will only be complete if sorrow is part of it.
That's what I thought at least.

Haha..dunno what I'm talking now.
Maybe next time..

On last Sunday

Jason and I ran outta places to date lately and we are getting bored.Though there are supposingly a thousand and more things we have not tried but due to the nature,the money,the habit etc, these thousand and more things are outta reach.

We started last Sunday @ Holland V.



There are two stretches of paths I really dig. One is this side(As pictured) and the other is where the pubs are.
Look so un-singapore and nice.But only this short and that's how small Singapore is.

Everyone's getting so tired of the local's style sometimes that we constantly find ourselves digging places that seem so ang-moh. Take that stretch of road to Tanglin mall for instance, I wondered is it just me and Vonx or everyone feels the same?



This noodle stall is famous. Justin(from the good old Seraya days) introduced us to their hor-fun.(sigh..I always miss those Seraya days. now the word 'seraya' just seems so oddly foreign.)
But after that chicken noodle, I feel nauseated for a long time.

After playing with a Jack Russell and some walking, we went to the F.O.S opposite.
Jason wanted me to try this dress.



I looked pregnant wearing that cos' it's too big for me.So the whole effect of this dress can't be carried off.I would have bought it if the size is right and the colour is better. That dark green just ain'tmy cuppa.


I like the top part though I couldnt create the cleavage effect. Either it's too big for me to do that or simply I can't. Haha.

Afterwhich we went to Parkway Parade.A real boring place.
Went to see doggies and they have puppies!! Puppy chihuahua(just a few days old),puppy schwagner(I think that's how it is spell...) and a puppy Jack Russell. Oh and a few months old but really big corgi.

Bad weather and we decided to have some ice cooling desserts.


I love longans!

Last but not least, I am pretty!



xp

Another story

In my line, you meet people from all walks of life.
Educated,polite,friendly,nice,ya-ya,horrible,rude,ah beng,ah lian,uneducated to siaos.

To lighten the whole F issues,maybe I shall tell you about one candidate I met today which belonged to the last genre.

Mary* called in for the data entry position we advertised in the papers.
I asked her for her highest qualification and she told me she is a diploma holder.
Thinking she may be a fresh dip grad and it is too 'wasteful' to try her for the data entry post, I asked her to send me her CV.

Sometime after she called in again(And so coincidence that I picked up her call again) telling me that her pc is down and if she could just come down for interview.
We try not to attend to walk-in interviews but since she is a dip holder and doesn't seem fussy,I spared her with abit of my time.

That's where the joke began.
Suck your breath in and get ready to laugh!

She has no idea where Paradiz Centre is so I told her to call me when she reached Dhoby Ghaut.
Initially I tried to give her direction from Plaza Singapura and she asked me where is Plaza Singapura.

I was kinda dumbfounded but still I asked has she ever been to Dhoby Ghaut.She said she had anyway. I was running outta patience when I tried to tell her how to walk from PS so I told her to give me a call after she reached Dhoby Ghaut.

She said,"Oh..so you will bring me from Dhoby Ghaut to your place huh?"

-_- *diao*

Sometime after she called me(She carrys no mobile,fyi.) when she was at Dhoby Ghaut mrt.

She asked,"So where is Plaza Sing?"
She even asked if we are inside P.S.

Without hanging out the call, she asked this uncle(which I overheard from the un-hung phone),"Cuse' me, where is Plaza Singapura huh?"

Uncle,"Alamak!Plaza Singapura is here la."

-_-*diao*

By then I was already jokingly telling my attachement gal whose sitting infront of me.We thought she would never make it to the agency.

Surprisingly after one hour plus, she DID turned up!

Mary* looks pretty normal. I would expect someone to look very mainland but she looks fine.
Not pretty nor further than plain jane. But at least she looks normal to me.

This is the blasting part.Behold!

So when I sat down wanting to interview her,( I was sitting pretty close to her already.)Mary* suddenly peered very close to my face. Too close for comfort zone but not kissing zone la. It was those kinda like you got very bad eyesight and you have to look very closely for clear view.

So she suddenly leaned so close and examined my face with her big eyes(Please note BIG eyes,this is the 3rd blast.) for around 3 seconds.
Thoughts of "Are you blind?Are you a fortune teller???" flashed my mind within that 3 seconds.

Then she said,"You look very pretty with your make up."

...........................

I practically froze on my seat for 5 good seconds before my nerves react.
It was those kinda situation whereby your brain blackouts and you turned to a stone.

Me,"Um..Ha..ha..Thank you."

I wasn't wearing alot of make up leh..Just mascara,concealor and press powder foundation I did in the morning ma.
Is she saying that I would look worse than a rat without any makeup?

Mary* is not your average school grader.
She(As she stated on my application form) scored 6As for O levels and is a local Diploma holder.Her brothers studied in R.I!
One puzzling matter was she was a year older than me and she claimed she just graduated last year. Now I could pretty much figured why.

Her last job was a waitress and her reason for leaving was "Mum don't like".

-_-?

Anyway my data entry post was not just any data entry post. At least the environment was those kinda stressful type and OT is alot.
Mary* took a very long time to consider and she insisted sitting there to think about it when I already dismissed her off.

After she did the data entry test, I asked her to reconsider again.

Me,"So you sure you want this job?You would be doing this kinda data entry the whole day and your eyes might be tired."

(I mentioned this cos' she seemed to blink alot and keep touching her hair.By the way, did I mentioned when she speaks, she sounds kinda weird too?The tone is very funny.Almost cartoon.Those evil characters type.)

She said,"Oh..my eyes are naturally small one..."

I almost collaspe on the spot and die of spasm.

I replied evenly saying,"No,your eyes not small what."(not in a nice but flat tone)

She seemed to be pretty delighted about that and I quickly dismissed her off.

Conclusion, we think she studied too much already.

Name* is not real to protect the victim's identity.